Riddles for Sleep-Deprived Parents Who Need a Laugh

I beep at 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. without batteries. What am I?

I have more lullabies than top hits. What am I?

I hide caffeine in a travel mug. What am I?

I never match but appear on laundry day. What am I?

I catch spit-up like a tiny cape. What am I?

I track feedings, naps, and diaper counts. What am I?

I rock, roll, and hum at once. Who am I?

I glow softly during 3 a.m. changes. What am I?

I empty overnight despite being full at bedtime. What am I?

I provide a hallway workout in your arms. What am I?

I promise a double shot in steam. What am I?

I am the bedtime reminder parents ignore. What am I?

I become a play gym after decorating the nursery. What am I?

I earn high-fives and maybe a nap. What am I?

I'm a little silicone plug that soothes a fussy baby. What am I?

I am the tiny sock lost in every wash. What am I?

I am the bag packed for every possible mess. What am I?

I am the sound machine pretending to be rain. What am I?

I am the snack eaten over the sink. What am I?

I am the stroller lap around the block. What am I?

I am the pacifier hiding under the crib. What am I?

I am the onesie with impossible snaps. What am I?

I am the chair that rocks more than a concert. What am I?

I am the text sent to another awake parent. What am I?

I grow by magic every night, and I never seem to shrink, though I'm folded daily. What am I?

I am the tiny burp that feels like victory. What am I?

I am the yawn hidden behind a smile. What am I?

I am the calendar note for a pediatric visit. What am I?

I'm a cold cup reheated three times and still forgotten on the counter. What am I?

I wake at 3 a.m. and demand a bottle and a cuddle. What am I?